With this module, I invite you to formulate your vision. To write a memoir, not of your past, but of your future. Rather than a wish, our desired reality is coded into the brain as a memory. Then we are magnetically pulled to this future reality as we are it now internally. Here we discover our inner muse who is calling us to be her.

We have an inner knowing, a sacred GPS, which knows our deepest calling and desires in life. We are often divorced from this intuition through our attempts to resolve the childhood wounds we accumulate (not good enough, not worthy, not capable, need to be perfect, not significant and that we don’t belong) and fulfil the expectations of others.

An outward transformation always comes from the transformation of the mind. When we understand that they are not separate entities, but one, we stop separating the body from the mind, berating ourselves with self loathing and punishing our bodies into conformity.

Rather we program the mind, and the body responds as one organism.

This is your chance to create your new program.

MEET YOUR MUSE

I believe we all have an inner muse, she is your truth, the inner voice calling you to be her.

BECOMING ELLE

I don’t know about you but who I thought I’d be as a mum, wife and professional was a combination of Mary Poppins, Lara Croft and Elle Woods. It turns out I feel scarily more like a combination of one of those mums seeking help from the nanny, a grumpy nun from sister act as a wife, and an employee from the office!

Who else thought you would be the perfect, most patient parent with the most obedient children? Did anyone else find themselves instead becoming the psycho mum at the checkout watching yourself in horror as your anxiety gets the better of  you?

Who of you like me have at some point swapped fine dining with finishing off your kids crusts? who has actually got to the point of preferring doing the dishes over having ‘time’ with your husband or partner? When was the last time you had an actual date?

Who comes home to that revolving pile of washing on your bed that never quite gets folded?

Aside from this, who is actually working your DREAM career, or did you settle for ‘what pays the bills’?

This is when we begin to grieve that adventurous, fun, almost dangerous part of us that had so many hopes and dreams of who we’d be.

Who relates to getting to a place where you have felt completely lost. Like life is either so crazy it’s like you have the blender going full pelt without the lid on, or it’s so hard it’s like you’re literally trying to make soup with a fork.

Like all of your hopes and dreams are stuffed down inside of you at the expense of being and doing everything you think others want you to be and do?

Who has found that the playful, sparkly and joyful self is absolutely swamped by the stress of the mundane, or a cloud of depression or constant anxiety? And then who finds themselves numbing out the unmet needs inside with substances, busyness, food or toxic relationships? Yes all things that seem good at the time but ultimately involve regret and guilt… and the cycle continues.

So beneath all of this I ask the question-  if you could be anyone or anything who would you be?

Take a minute now to feel her, see her and acknowledge her. Close your eyes even. Name her, watch how she moves, what does she enjoy? How does she celebrate? How does she romance? What does she eat like? What exercise does she love? What is her hair like? How does she dress? How does she express her creativity? What does her home look like? What is her relationship with animals and nature?

I want you to get really specific.

Whatever comes to your mind, it is an offering from your imagination of the girl inside you, banging on your walls, begging and screaming to come out. She is there and she is real. You just have to become brave enough, tenacious enough and vulnerable enough to become her.

THE ‘ELLE’ IN ESTELLE

Let me introduce my first girl ‘Elle’, she is the ‘Elle’ in Estelle. Elle is bubbly, blonde, (yes I’m testing whether blondes have more fun!) vivacious and full of colour and sparkle. Elle plays, sings, dances and celebrates life. Quite literally the opposite to my usual black wearing, conservative, introverted, serious and inhibited self. So let me describe Elle a little more for you…

Elle has a healthy sense of entitlement. She deserves to feel good, she knows she’s beautiful irrespective of her physical state. She has a wonderful sense of humour and feels safe enough to invite the world IN. Rather than being threatened by the world, she smiles out at the world.

So when I wash dishes, I am usually barking out orders in controlled panic. Like ‘have you done your reading?’ Who’s first in the shower’!? No I don’t know what 5034 x 35 is and a steely stare of “can’t you see what I’ve got on my plate?” to that suggestive butt squeeze as my husband casually walks by. So there’s lot’s of unintentional sighs and reprimanding the dog for trying to get the kids lunch leftovers out of the bin, I’m sure you get the picture!

When Elle is in the kitchen on the other hand, WELL! She’s dancing and singing to her favourite playlist, she half seduces her husband behind the kids backs, she’s feeding the dog treats and smooshing it’s face into her own, she’s delighting in every flavour and aroma, she is not rattled by the kids shrieking that their sibling is not getting out of the shower. She just has JOY.

While I find myself gulping down my cold cup of tea to abate my hunger, Elle savours every sip of tea as she luxuriates for a few minutes and reads.

While I mainly eat at the kitchen counter trying to multitask, she experiences every single mouthful of food. I hardly even eat chocolate but Elle lets chocolate melt in her mouth.

I multitask even in the shower and try to have yelling conversations with the kids through the door where I’m always saying ‘can you just wait!? I can’t hear you!’ Amidst subconsciously reprimanding myself for not having abs… When Elle showers, she pampers, she admires her beautiful body, notices the sensations of the water on her neck, she sings and meditates.

When I take a walk I’m planning, strategising my day, praying earnestly, rehearsing what I should have said in that passive aggressive conversation when it’s too late to say anything anyway, you know that kind of inner conversation? Elle simply walks IN her body, she senses every stroke of breeze on her face and every breath of scented air.

And that rotating pile of washing on the bed? Well it goes without saying that Elle would never allow her sacred romantic space to be obstructed, rather she fluffs up all those beautiful pillows on her bed, wears French lace lingerie and lights a candle at night…

Elle is a voice, the embodiment of a healing tool, a program, the possibility of dramatic change and a symbol of hope. It begs the question, am I really that person I have described myself to be? Or is that simply a combination of subconscious programs in response to my environment, trauma, and my brains attempt at pure survival? If this is so, what is stopping me from reprogramming myself to become Elle?

I have experienced this concept to be a powerful tool of transformation.

THE WARRIOR PROJECT

I have personally, painfully broken through the heavy expectations I accepted of who I should be. I stopped trying to please every single person around me, and through ‘The Warrior Project’ I was given the opportunity to literally transform who I am. I was empowered to find my voice through my art and music. Through finally being open about my own story, and so many other women sharing theirs with me, I was able to return to my wholeness.

‘The Warrior Project’ was just over a year of me releasing a song, video clip and painting on an issue effecting women at various events each month. The goal was to normalise conversation around issues like sexual abuse, domestic violence, and suicide. To dismantle the shame around them by breaking silence and creating a safe space for women to share their stories.

Before starting ‘The Warrior Project’ I had never done a classical oil painting, created a video clip, written an upbeat pop song, danced, worn fake eyelashes or even knew how to make a single post on Instagram. I was a mum who had stuffed all of my creativity and dreams down very deep. So deep, I was sick, 20kgs overweight and struggling to get my kids to school.

So I want to encourage you that if there is a dream inside you, it means you have the ability to make it a reality. If you knew the horrid self talk I’ve had to overcome, the lack of skills, the resistance against what I am doing on so many levels, the shame, tears and sheer terror, you would know 100% that you have the ability to do what ever dream it is inside of you too.  Only you are capable of being you. It is something we often hear, but so rarely internalise.

Project Shimmer is a journey of discovering our inner muse, the girl inside seeking expression. It is our call to authenticity on every level.

What we suppress must be expressed.

Please understand that what we repress emotionally will be expressed physically, in our relationships, our children, our work and every circumstance we create in our lives.

THE BEAUTIFUL DESTRUCTION

So if we are to approach our physical bodies with this understanding, what is your body revealing to you? Take a few minutes to honestly look at yourself in the mirror. What is your physical expression telling you? What have you repressed throughout your life? In what way are you being invited to speak up, to express your truth even at the expense of what feels like your very survival?

It feels this dire because your truth expressed will inevitably cause what can be called a ‘beautiful destruction’. This is the falling away of the relationships, institutions, beliefs, structures and ‘things’ in your life. As they fall, they graciously give you the space to find your ultimate expression, as they no longer resonate with you. It is the paradox of the beauty of your unfolding, juxtaposed with the pain of great loss.

Those of us who decide the pain of loss is too great to bear, will continue to pay the cost of inauthenticity in our bodies and our health. This is why it often takes a crisis or a diagnosis to move us towards living our lives creatively and intentionally, rather than just surviving them.

Will you make the choice to become the girl calling you to be her, or will you choose to keep the status quo and remain in the safety of suppression? Both are painful. As my warrior muse Zion would say- choose your hard.

My mission is to encourage you as you journey through your very own beautiful destruction. I have been there, and like the un-peeling of the onion, layer by layer, piece by piece, my self protective constructs fall away.

As we release emotion through movement, sweat and tears, the clouds that have been enveloping you your entire life, evaporate and fall, until they can no longer hide the sun that is you. You may think you were content within the shroud of clouds, but girl you were made to shine!

CREATING THE MUSE

Now it’s your turn. I want you to imagine the most magical Cinderella worthy ball, where you get to wear whatever your imagination can conjure, you get to be for the night the most exciting and compelling version of yourself. It is a masquerade ball where you get to be exactly who you are created to be, move, talk, eat, celebrate, laugh, romance the way only you can. I want to challenge you to name her, dress her, imbue her with characteristics that excite and entice you.

Then I invite you to become her.

Find a favourite journal, draw, use pinterest, do a story board, use AI, (you can use this AI avatar maker and share your pics on the chat!) whatever inspires you. This is your opportunity to access your own inspiration and receive who it is you want to become, apart from all the programs, expectations and limitations. Just your pure creative essence.

Once she is created we can become proactive and strategic in becoming her. However, without the vision clearly laid, the RAS (Reticular Activating System) does not have the instructions it needs to gather the information and create the map to your desired destination. Just like a GPS, we put in the specific destination. We don’t need to know all of the details ahead of time, we simply trust that the GPS knows the best way to reach the destination. We just take each turn as we come to it, until magically we find ourselves at the destination.

It is important to acknowledge that the destination will only be as happy and fulfilling as the journey itself. So the journey and our current reality needs to preempt the destination we are travelling to. In the end, we are taking ourselves with us. A destination doesn’t magically change who we are. We need to be everything we desire NOW. No circumstance, amount of beauty or money can give us what we are searching for. It can never resolve the internal childhood wounds that drive and orient us in life.

THE CREATIVE PROCESS

“Your dream is not a fantasy, it is a premonition. It is but a memory of your future.”

YOUR TRUE CHOICES

When we are in the creative orientation we are able to find our true choices. These are end results we choose just because we would love it and we want the joy of creating. This is opposed to the problem orientation where your choices and goals are informed by a wound you are trying to resolve or a problem you are trying to fix.

There are 4 basic choices that are available to all of us and that are by their very nature ‘true choices’. Each day we make it a practice to live in the end result internally, of our true choices so that the subconscious becomes so familiar with this reality, it no longer resists us moving towards them. The 4 core choices are…

• I choose the end result of living a life I love

• I choose the end result of being the predominant creator of my life

• I choose the end result of health and vitality

• I choose the end result of living in my true nature and purpose

If you would like to, take time to consider another 2 or 3 specific true choices you want to add to these. Something you would love to have, do or be. We will then rehearse these choices daily just like the basketball or piano player who rehearses mentally, has equal or greater success than those who practice physically.

(Something to note here is that we can’t make our choices dependant on other people, as they are agents of free will. If for example your choice is for a happy peaceful relationship, you should not write the persons name down you are hoping to have this relationship with. Rather you would write, ‘I choose to experience being a great partner/ mother, daughter, friend with … qualities, experiencing feelings of peace and happiness’. Feel free to share you true choices with me so we can assess whether they are in fact ‘true’)

DEFINING A ‘TRUE CHOICE’

Remember that a definition of a true choice is ‘just because you would love it’. You are not trying to fix yourself, or a circumstance through the choice.

For example ‘I want to lose weight’ needs to be something that you approach as something that you would love to create. We approach it as play.

“I am playing the game of creating a body recomposition because it is something I simply would love. I have the same love and gratitude for my body now as I will in a different physical expression. Nothing changes that I am beautiful, that I’m worthy, that I am enough, that I am significant and valuable just as I am, to the core of my essence. There is nothing to fix, just things I would love to create.”

So the true choice would be something like, “I want to create a body I love to live in”.

This is in contrast to “I want to lose weight so I can feel confident and beautiful”. This approach simply gives your power away to ‘weight’. When you are the creator you take back that power and now the confidence and beauty preempts the outcome of weight loss. Be extremely mindful that you are not making choices according to the life time conditioning of ‘now’ not being enough, and the future promising a magical alternative reality and experience that solves all of our problems.

Another example-

“I choose to be working my dream job of …. (just because I love it)”.

Be very careful not to be solving a problem with this kind of choice, such as wanting more time with your family, more money etc. through the job. In this case your true choice would be ‘to have school holidays with my children’, or ‘to have dinner each night at home’, or ‘to earn more money tham I can spend’ because that’s what you actually would love. Don’t use a change in career for example, as a convoluted way of getting you to that true choice.

One way to get to a true choice is to think about what you don’t want as an outcome in life and simply choose the opposite. For example, “I don’t want to die of lung cancer”. In this case your true choice is not to quit smoking, because that would be solving a problem to get to your desired reality and giving the power to the problem- smoking. Instead you must choose how you are going to create the opposite reality just because you would love it. This would take us back to “I choose the end result of health and vitality”.

What we are doing is creating a memoir of the future rather than of our past. We are writing our future from the vantage point of embodying it now. Just like we can evoke emotions through recalling certain memories, we can just as easily create the emotions of our future now. We become her, through being her first internally and rewiring the brain through intentional focus and directing the RAS (Reticular Activating System) to filter the information needed to become her.

I AM…

Like me, you may have multiple muses for different aspects of your life, or different facets of your one muse. The “I Am” is expressed in a kaleidoscope of potential as well as current expressions. Reflect on the feminine archetypes we explored and consider what you want to cultivate more of, in how you interact with yourself and the world. We are never just one person in all areas of life. We show up with different aspects of ourselves for our children for example, then to our girlfriends, work colleagues, our partners, authority figures, our parents, siblings and even our pets- the list goes on.

‘I Am Estelle’ encompasses 5 muses that help me cultivate different aspects of how I interact and show up internally and in the world.

Eden

Eden embodies how I want to nurture myself and my family, how I want to feel in my body and connect spiritually, with nature and the sensory world. She fosters the archetypes of the mother, maiden and the mystic. She is the bohemian.

Elle

Elle is how I want to show up in terms of playfulness, fun, colour and unbridled self confidence that isn’t inhibited or in servitude to the expectations of others. Elle is the lover, the ingenue and the sensualist. She is the siren.

StellR

StellR gives me permission to shine to my greatest capacity, to learn the skills required to be the superstar. StellR is my queen, the goddess, she is the diva.

Zion

Zion is the voice that drives me to excellence, the uncompromising mindset of no excuses and 100% responsibility for every area of my life. Zion drives me to my ultimate desires. She is the huntress, the sage and my warrior.

Cele`ste

Finally, Cele`ste is the future self-actualised and consolidated version of who I intend to be. She has a high level of self-possession, integration and authenticity. She is who I envision being in the coming seasons of life as the mother of adult children and as grandmother. Cele`ste is the integration of all of the archetypes. She is the sophisticate and quite simply the boss!

THE 7 F’S

A great way of compartmentalising and reflecting on our desires is with the 7F’s of life- faith, family, finances, fitness, friends, fun, and future. Have fun with this. Remember that we are being led by true choices, not by a perceived solution with the goal of fixing a problem. Be led by bliss and create a vision that your future self will be ever grateful for!

BECOMING HER

WRITING YOUR MEMOIR OF THE FUTURE

Use this ‘Memoirs Of The Future PDF’ to brainstorm all of all the things you could do to become your muse and the ultimate expression of yourself in the coming years, months, week and day. At first it is crucial to brainstorm without limitation or judgement of yourself. This is not at all about what you are currently capable of, this is what your inner voice is inspiring you to put into words. What you are being called to become. This is your chance to do, be or have whatever your heart desires.

After this, we refine what is actionable right now to move towards what we identify as our true choices. After brainstorming all of the things you ‘could do’ to move towards your end result, choose what your next obvious steps are (the low hanging fruit), as you are magnetically drawn to your truth.

Commit to the specific 1-3 actions you WILL take at this point. It is crucial that you follow through with these baby steps as you train your subconscious that you are someone who delivers on your commitments. So make your daily and weekly choices carefully, make them achievable and highly desirable.

WHAT TO DO

Let your imagination offer your premonition of the future. Return to a sense of innocence before your emotions were labelled, your desires ridiculed and your heart felt unsafe to dream. Don’t limit yourself, and make sure you are making choices in the creative orientation. Write down everything that comes to you. Every unlimited dream and inspiration.

• Once you have the long term vision (90 days to 3-5 years) in front of you, brainstorm all of the things you could do this month to move towards your desired reality. Then choose what you will do this month and put that in the final column.

• The next thing to brainstorm is all of the things you could do this week to move forward, then again choose what you will do. Schedule it in.

• Finally you can brainstorm all of the things you could do tomorrow and then choose your top three priorities that you will achieve in the day. We are starting from a birds eye view and through this process focusing in on just three things we can achieve each day to create the life of our dreams.

Small incremental daily actions take us step by step to our desired reality. This is where the magic happens and you start experiencing life supporting you in ways you could never anticipate. Watch for the miracles, the synchronicities and with wonder, anticipate in gratitude the outcome that is already yours.

This exercise helps you formulate your very own memoir of your future as though it has already happened. “Thank you that I am (insert future reality)”, is so life changing. This personally became the greatest catalyst for turning the tide in my life. I thanked as though it already was with full faith, rather than asking and wishing for a magical outcome.

WEEKLY PLANNER

The ‘Weekly Planner’ is a way of getting clarity around your priorities and how you are going to make new habits a consistent part of your life. The example given is of my own scheduling of 3x workouts, the daily splits sprint breakdown, 1 enema, 1 or 2 epsom salt baths, 3 weekly neorejuvenation sessions and 3 face and body spa sessions. The menu is to prepare for one main meal a day with the rest of the days eating being quite simple with 2 or 3 meals that you repeat on a daily basis to get you through to your main meal.

My current routine is to eat raw veggies with a dip (or alternatively soup), a protein tea that I make with rooibos tea, gelatine, a greens protein powder, almond and coconut milk and a yoghurt bowl with fruit, nuts, cacao nibs and seeds with my kefir in it. This adds to the hydration part of my day, with the consumption of structured water, and typically happens between 12.30pm and 4pm. It also achieves the outcomes I want from chewing hard high enzyme prebiotic foods as we discuss in our oral health module. Then I will eat one main meal based on fat and protein for dinner no later than 6pm when possible.

We will be delving into how each weeks cadence is impacted by the hormonal patterns of our monthly cycle. In time we will make considerations of how we fast, the foods we eat, how we exercise, how we work, play and connect in a way that is in harmony with our cycle. To begin with, the only changes we are focusing on are gradually shortening our eating window, increasing hydration and including high fibre hydrating foods along with protein and fat when breaking our fast.

MORNING RITUALS

There is also the opportunity to formulate an ideal morning routine that starts your day beautifully and builds into your greater long term goals. Experiment with what works for you, and what a reasonable wake up time is. I encourage you to start your day at least 1 hour before everyone in your household to get sacred time for yourself and before you start getting pulled in different directions. This is your time to achieve the priorities you have for self care (such as movement), that will bit by bit see you to your desired reality.

Consider including powerful habits such as earthing (connecting with the earth barefoot), taking a 10 minute morning walk to connect with the morning sun, cold water immersion, meditation/ prayer/ gratitude, oil pulling, eye exercises, spiritual practices- whatever inspires you!

Habit stacking is a great way to ‘kill two birds with one stone’. This is where you attach a habit to something you already so habitually, such as meditating while doing the spinal awakening, listening to a podcast while walking, doing pelvic floor exercises at each stop light, grounding while doing breath work, gratitude while brushing your teeth, eye exercises before sleep…

YOUR IDEAL AVERAGE DAY

The purpose of formulating a vision for your ideal average day is so you can be intentional about how each moment in your day is contributing to your true choices of living a life you love, led by your true nature and purpose, that you are predominantly creating, and a life that is filled with health and vitality. Include these aspects into your dream day and be amazed at how things work together for you and take you to the desired outcome.

HAVE FUN!

Please remember, you have within you the ability to fulfil whatever your imagination offers. You will be supported as you walk in faith with the resources and skills to fulfil your desired reality. Dream big enough that you aren’t currently capable of achieving the vision. Make it compelling. Make it about WHO you want to become and allow it to draw you like a magnet, pulling you to your desired reality.

You can do this! Make it play, have fun and enjoy the process of creating your future now!